We’ve all been there, the ‘victim’ the sufferer, the holder of the burden torch, got the video, baseball cap and worn the t-shirt. Some people have worn that particular t-shirt in a full range of colours for so long, they don’t know how to be anything else.
Some people actually enjoy wearing the victim t-shirt and here’s some of the reasons why:
- People feel sorry for them and give them attention
- It can increase their feeling of self-importance
- Is used as an excuse for not achieving things (I would have done it if so and so had given me more support)
- Allows them, by blaming others, to not take responsibility for their own lives.
‘I’m the result of upbringing, class, gender, social prejudices and economics. So I’m a victim again. A result – James Hillman.
Some of us merely dip in and out of ‘victim mode.’ But when we have, what has been the consequences both to us and those around us? What about the people you know who are well and truly stuck in victim mode? What happens in their lives as a result?
Where are you right now? Here are some questions to ponder:
- Which person has the biggest influence on your life?
- Who deserves the most credit or blame for where you are currently in life?
- Whose advice and opinions to you tend to always act upon?
You may listen to the advice and opinions of others, but ultimately the biggest single factor which determines where you are right now is YOU.
Start taking off the victim t-shirt by removing the ‘victim language’. Choose more empowering language. The way you think and talk to yourself significantly impacts on what actions you take. Although you cannot control what happens in life you can control how you respond, so look for solutions, what you can learn and how you can adapt, change or accept what has happened. Taking personal responsibility frees you from the trap of blaming, complaining and resenting, so regain control of your life by jumping back in the driving seat instead of being the passenger.
Change does not happen when circumstances improve; change happens when you decide to improve your circumstances!
There is nothing and no-one who can stand in your way, once you have made a commitment to yourself to succeed. No matter what challenges you may face, remind yourself they are bumps in the road not a blue print for the rest of your life.