It’s great to be a person that gives to others but what is your motivation for doing so. Is it to get approval, to be liked, to be needed or because you don’t know how to say no? When you give to someone it should be because it makes you feel good – you are getting a lot of pleasure from it and not just so you are pleasing the other person. To make your own life better you should choose to do what you want to do, not what you feel you ‘must’ or ‘ought’ to do. Don’t be afraid to say no to something you don’t want to do. It is not being selfish but taking good care of your physical and mental wellbeing.
Be straight with people by not saying yes to things and then have to feel obliged to carry the burden and resentment when you could have quite easily said no, sorry can’t do that. Those people who constantly do the bidding of others tend to feel resentful, trapped, undervalued and are quite likely to experience burn out. This in turn can have an impact on their physical health with tiredness, low mood, aches and pains and a lowered resistance to bugs and infections.
The person that does as much as they can for everyone else will likely find when they themselves need help and support, no-one steps up and this in turn leads to a sense of feeling unloved or not cared about which can impact on confidence and self-esteem. So please do think about why you are so keen to help out and look after everyone else whilst neglecting your own needs, because if it doesn’t make you feel happy and fulfilled when you give so much to others then you need to start putting yourself first.