- First of all keep your cool, maintain your self control and don’t try to resist them as this will inflame their own resistance
- Realise the behaviour is not really about you even if you are in the line of fire and it feels like it is.
- Don’t judge their behaviour but look behind what might be causing it, but don’t make assumptions. Ask about their issue(s) and make sure you are really listening. People often feel frustrated, angry and destructive when they feel they are not being heard or understood.
- Try to see things from their perspective without having to agree with their point of view, but understanding their perspective will give you an opportunity to give them a different and more empowering perspective.
- Enabling them to see things from a different perspective will empower them to make better choices and see the benefits for themselves in changing their behaviour.
- If someone is in a rant, you can break their state by asking them a random, unrelated question. This will throw them off track and give you the opportunity to take a proactive rather than a reactive approach.
- Adopt a relaxed posture, breathe slowly and deeply and the person will start to subconsciously mirror you, which in turn will calm them down.
- Concentrate your energy on problem solving and not buying into their behaviour.
- Ultimately depending on how important this person is in your life i.e family member, manager, person you have to work with, you can always decide this is ‘not my monkey’ and walk away.