Often when a client comes for hypnotherapy they try to get me to make them do things they really don’t want to do but feel they have to do. This is when I need to ask the right questions that may lead the client to ‘find the courage to do what they want to do, not what they ‘ought’ to do.’ So let me ask you this questions,
Have you ever really regretted not doing something that you didn’t want to do in the first place?
How many of our so called ‘needs’ are just things you have promised yourself to feel bad about if you don’t get them? We are great at tricking ourselves and our beliefs about wanting things we really don’t need or want. This is largely based on the expectations we believe others have of us. One of the things I try to do is to take the words ‘ought’ and ‘should’ out of my language. These words to me feel so enslaving! If I focus on the reasons why I haven’t done something I ‘ought’ to have to solve an issue or a problem, I am not focussing on the way to solve it. These are some of the many limiting beliefs that we hold.
Our biggest limit is not in what we think we want and cannot have or do, but in what we have never considered that we can do!
So may your choices on what you do reflect your hopes and not your fears and certainly not on the expectations of others. You could try to remove the ‘oughts’ and ‘shoulds’ from your language and see how more powerfully you make decisions and commitments that you ‘want’ to make, rather than those you think you ‘ought’ to make.